Chocolate, Libido & Binging

Valentine's Day is packed with libido raising chocolates and other waist expanding temptations. How do we enjoy it without being trapped by the sweetness of the treat?  Of course the celebration of love is a good thing. How do we avoid unhealthy temptation and embrace tasty love?

To separate love and libido from unhealthy temptation, take a look at your sweets and your sweetheart, and check-in with the way you feel.

1. Confusing eating with satisfying intimacy causes disappointment that leads to binging. The libido thrives on anticipation, not big meals. Taking it slowly keeps you in control. Plan a light meal like tapas and put on some music. All of our senses connect with libido. Be creative with the way you choose to enjoy your treat and your evening. Rub a piece of chocolate across your lips and try to have your partner lick it off without either of you laughing. Of course, laughter is a libido boost- way more than chocolate. Libido is the drive for physical intimacy a feeling of anticipation, an openness to possibility and romantic potential.  If you feel this:

• Be true to yourself by taking your time. Patience heightens anticipation which makes your experience more exciting.
• Take it to a higher level with eye contact while you savor your treat. Also give the verbal pleasure signal of "mmnnn". 
• Just take a nibble, because you want your body to be relaxed for the next part of the evening. Feeling full signals your body to focus on digesting food. That kills libido.
•  Say Thank you! and mean it. Let the big picture come into focus naturally. 

2. Love, like eating, is an inner connection.  Food only represents love when we savor it; binging is a kind of disconnect. A great and enduring love affair is founded on open communication and mutual respect. The loving way to eat is to keep open communication with your body by tuning-in with your senses before and while you eat. It's the intuitive way to respect your body and to respect yourself. Love feels like a light in your heart, or it is a peaceful, gently exciting sense of being appreciated that is relaxing and deeply affirming. Real love is a direct connection with dignity and self-respect.

• When chocolate represents love and you take a nibble, your energy will soar. This is a happy feeling that lasts as long as you stay true to the feelings of dignity and self-respect.
• Get sensual. Love yourself by eating lightly and let that lightness connect with your heart. Touch your partner's fingers. Smile while giving your partner eye contact. Make love with your eyes - if you dare!
• Share a taste with your partner and say, Thank you! from the heart. You will feel satisfied, leaving the remaining chocolate as a symbol of love and anticipation for the future.

3. Temptation, created by emotions and stress, causes binging. Taking control of the temptation can be a turn-on for both of you, because it makes priorities clear. Take control by focusing on the big picture. Your priority is to appreciate each other and the meaning of the celebration. What you eat should compliment the evening, not rule it. Temptation is an urge often accompanied by a subtle feeling of frustration, a whiff of self-defeat in the air. If you feel this:

• Remember to be true to your body and your heart, together. To stay connected with your intuition, use determination to feel good about your experience.
• Take a taste and savor it with a "mmnnnn". Look your partner right in the eye and feed him/her a taste.
• Say Thank you! and mean it. 
• Thank yourself because you are focused on what you want and who you are.  You are honoring yourself. Love will find you through your smile as temptation turns into self-confidence. You will feel it.

Plato said, At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. I guess, in a perfect world we would all be poets. Enjoy your chocolate, dance with your libido and fall in love all over again this Valentine's Day! Be loving towards yourself. Write a poem about chocolate instead of eating it, or share it with a stranger. Tweet about it. Remember, whether it's a cold winter day or hot in July, Love for you is in the air every day.

For more common sense ways to deal with temptation and frustration around eating and to learn how to tune-in to your body with intuitive sensual thinking download: Am I Really Hungry, 6th Sense Diet:Intuitive Eating

It's time to feel the joy!

Stop being manipulated! Old school diet plans manipulate you with guilt and doubt so that you become emotionally starved and binge out of frustration! It's the opposite of joy.

Aren't you ready to feel the joy?

In truth, eating is strictly physical. Step into the 21st century by using intuitive tools to be clear about what will give you the best quality of life. Intuitive eating is all about you.

Feeling joy is an obvious key to quality of life. By using curiosity and foresight for perspective and protection around food, you can stay clear about your priorities. You'll feel the joy of self-control!

Many holiday foods can fuel your body and streamline your life.
Eat with the purpose of achieving best quality of life.
To do this:

Eat less, but eat variety.

Take 'tastes' and savor them.

Pause to notice what you eat.

Don't feel a need to try everything at one time.

Listen to your body, not your emotions.

Trust your intuition. 

The following 'super foods' have more nutrition per calorie and high levels of antioxidants and phytochemicals. According to authorities, they protect you against cancer, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, stroke, obesity, diverticulosis and cataracts.

Super Food list:

Chocolate: dark (at least 60%) is best, enjoy a few bites

Nuts: a small handful, well chewed will give you long-term energy

Pumpkin & Sweet Potatoes: mega vitamins for your immune system

Pomegranate: anti-inflammatory, benefit nervous system, inhibit tumor cell growth

Cinnamon: helps maintain healthy blood sugar level, considered anti-bacterial

Cranberries: high in vitamin C which is why it's tart, eat in moderation

Nutmeg: have in small doses, can enhance sleep and help regulate anxiety

Brussels Sprouts: especially  protective against cancer

Enjoy food at parties by eating for quality of life. Use your intuition to see the big picture.

Using intuitive tools like curiosity and foresight puts you in control by giving you long-term perspective. See yourself healthy and fit. Have tips, tricks and techniques on your phone 24/7 for support.   Feel in control and feel the joy!

It's easy. Intuitive eating keeps you aware of what you eat, so you can demand, expect and create the quality of life you want. You can't buy good health, but you can enable it.

At mealtime, use your all of your senses, including common sense, to relate what you think with what you physically feel.  You'll discover that using your mind to fuel your body protectively, becomes automatic.

What are you craving?

July 4th is Independence Day. 

It's intuitive to crave freedom.

For intuitive eaters, freedom's not just another word. Freedom is self-control.  It's eating what you want, when you're hungry. No rules, no pressure to eat what you don't like. It's positively relaxing.

It's human to have cravings.

We crave love, sex, chocolate, money, happiness, understanding, affection, good health, companionship or a new pair of shoes. The list is personal. When you have a craving and your eyes look at food, ask your self, Am I really hungry? Most cravings are not for food, they're social.

Eating intuitively puts you in control of your choices. It's trusting and listening to your body. Instead of planning what to eat in advance, intuitive eater's look at food options and ask, Am I really hungry?

If you believe you're craving food, eat protein. People who diet are usually hungry for protein. Fruit and salad won't satisfy you if you need protein. Eat a handful of almonds or walnuts if you're on the run, and your body will relax and the craving will be satisfied. Nuts are a dense protein that take time for your body to metabolize.  When you eat what you need, suddenly there's time and freedom for other cravings to be satisfied- even if it's as simple as craving a good nights sleep.

 The 15 Minute Solution is about candy and craving.  It's a method you can trust to know if you're craving is social. Do you want affection or another piece of pie? Take control of your craving and feel some relief from the pressure. Connect with a freedom from cravings.

When you're alone and craving a container of chocolate ice cream, use The 3 Minute Rule, and you'll realize that you know what you want.

When you feel trapped by cravings, it's an uncomfortable gnawing inside. As you practice eating intuitively you'll know yourself better, and free yourself from cravings. When you recognize what's pushing your buttons and use your intuitive tools to keep an open mind, you make choices that bring long-term satisfaction.

When you are in sync with yourself, you always find choices. Ask yourself, Am I really hungry for food? and if you're not sure, give yourself the freedom to say, no. 

Take the plunge. Keep an open mind. Tune into yourself and eat intuitively. Nobody craves a ball and chain and restrictive dieting is a ball and chain. Nobody wants to feel trapped and when you don't feel in control of yourself, you feel trapped. Give yourself a chance.

Happy Independence Day from New York City!

Let the golden lights of the fireworks shine a path of eating freedom for you.

The 15 Minute Solution

Cravings and Candy

December is a time of heightened cravings. Family and friends ask, what do you want? We feel this emotionally, physically, and socially. When teased with holiday deserts, we see food not only with our eyes, but also with our hearts.

I was asked, "How can we connect with our intuition to know the difference between intuitive eating and 'unhealthy' cravings?"  

Intuitive eating feels good an hour later. 

'Unhealthy' cravings feel bad an hour later.

Intuitive eating balances what you crave with what you need to eat. Eating a square of chocolate because it makes you feel good and you like the way it tastes, is healthy. Chocolate is an anti-oxident. The body uses anti oxidents help to clean pollution from your system. Your body is intuitively efficient. Craving to eat something can mean that your body needs it. Intuitive eating is working with your body.

       When you eat one square of chocolate, it takes a full 15 minutes for your brain to know that your stomach has had happy piece of chocolate. This means, after eating one square of chocolate, take 15 minutes to socialize or even relax, to give your head time it needs to know if you still are physically craving chocolate.  Try it, and you will be surprised. 

Your body, just like your mind and and your heart, has a process it uses to be the best you can be. 

 -Respect and connect with your stomach by taking the harmless temptation of craving seriously. 

-Guide yourself intuitively by staying clear about what matters to you in the long run. 

     While you may crave candy, I bet you crave affection more. Overeating ignores your body and isolates you from others because you are not responding to what you really want. Your social needs, emotional needs, and physical needs are equally important.

Intuition connects with your point of balance so you know what you want. 

Balance is the secret of self control.

Unhealthy cravings lead to self-defeating behavior that feels bad. We all have an inner baby that manipulates us with impatience, self-pity, anger or doubt. Don't be bullied by 'unhealthy' cravings. 

Do your best for you.

Use the 15 minute rule before you go for more. 

During your 15 minutes, imagine how you feel when you take control of your choices, 

and with an open mind, stay clear about what matters to you. 

Trust your process. 

Intuitively you know what will make you feel good.

Temptation and Obsession

What is the difference between temptation and obsession when it comes to diet?

Being tempted to eat means you are still in control. We all live with temptation. We are in a kind of flow, where choices must be made before we realize it. You are tempted to stay longer, leave earlier, eat more, work-out less, make a call, turn off the phone, take a chance, stay with the familiar, stop learning new things, start something new- . Temptation makes you think twice. It puts you to the test. Because temptation forces you to think twice, you are in control.

Temptation is the opportunity for you to remember and feed your eating priorities. This will satisfy you physically and emotionally. Think twice about what your body needs to feel satisfied by noticing what you notice. When you tune in to your body and make the choice to respect your self, things will start to make sense. Amazingly temptation brings out the best in you.

Obsessing feels like being out of control. In fact, obsession is losing perspective about what makes you feel good. Perhaps the obsession is pizza, chocolate, or pasta and you only can think of finding satisfaction with your obsession. But- the problem is that it doesn’t happen. The result is of obsessive eating is physical discomfort, and emotional dissatisfaction because in fact, food is not a substitute for what you really want. Only eating for quality of life, and to enjoy the experiences of taste and smell, can satisfy your emotional needs.

You will stay in control by remembering your emotional demands are not more important then your physical needs. Using your senses to know your self physically puts your emotional demands in a healthy perspective. Ideas that turn into obsessions about what to eat, may not be in sync with your physical needs. Be flexible with yourself and you will discover that you have the answers.

Trust your intuition. Your first intuitive sense is your survival instinct. Use it.

Don’t be tempted to: Ignore what you know. Don't abuse your body and don't defeat your eating goals.

Scan my Intuitive Eating blogs for a title that sounds like the eating temptation you are facing today and read it. This will help you connect with your intuition and stay in control of your eating.

Many people write to me because they identify with my March 23 blog: Zig Zag Eating, http://fine-tuning-eating.blogspot.com/2010/03/zig-zag-eating.html.   Is that you?

We’re in this together, and we’ll walk through this together. You are not alone. Keep your head up and your eyes open. You have "it".

Namaste.

Chocolate - Share the pleasure.

This past week was my birthday, and I got a lot of tempting and delicious chocolate.

My friend Elan in Colorado baked me chocolate chocolate chip cookies from a French recipe that are huge and light and deeply, deeply, chocolate. These cookies are a delicious, amazing, seductive experience. And my daughter, gave me chocolate covered espresso beans and chocolate filled candy from an exclusive chocolatier in NYC. OMG. It has been at first very hard, because, of course, I wanted all of it.

When I spoke with Elan to thank her I confessed to actually eating 2 of the cookies in one sitting (which made me feel wildly overdosed on sugar) and she told me she only eats ½ of one at a time! Ouch.

Chocolate is wonderful, delicious, and fattening- so when you have chocolate, break it into bite sized pieces and share that wonder and delicious part with a friend or family member.  It makes them happy and it makes you feel good about your self. 

Chocolate: Connect with your body by really tasting it and savoring the flavor. Connect with your heart by sharing the pleasure. Connect with your intuition by doing what's best for you.

It doesn’t have to be your birthday to be surrounded by foods that will tempt you with their taste and make it hard to resist over eating. But do yourself and those you love a favor and keep temptation away by sharing. Take the box of candy to work and set it out on a table with a note: "Enjoy". No one will complain. And you will set a standard that feels healthy for your spirit. It’s a way of respecting your self.

Don’t be tempted by the illusion of satisfaction. Real satisfaction is a process, not a conclusion. You’ll feel good about your choice when you give your chocolate away. Having no temptation is a relief.

After talking to my friend, I remembered the Hobbits in the J.R.R. Tolkien books. They give presents to others on their birthday. So, I have been giving the chocolate cookies and candies as bite-size treats to friends to celebrate my birthday. Everyone is loving it, and I’m loving the way my body feels. It wasn’t easy but I’ve learned that difficulties can stimulate our greatest achievements! Giving away chocolates is an achievement.