Eating Appetites

Have you ever felt like you were hungry when you knew you were not? Have you ever craved ice cream after finishing off a big dinner with dessert? Hunger is compelling. It drives us because we  intuitively associate it with survival. But, hunger is not always about food.

Your appetites are sometimes driven by unpleasant sensations like boredom, anger, frustration or loneliness. These kinds of appetites are your mind or soul needing some 'food'.

But, conversation is not something you buy at the store, and friendship is not something you keep in the pantry. It's not as easy to feed your head or heart as it is to feed your body, because you're not used to recognizing this kind of appetite. However, it's real. Your appetites for stimulation, for comfort, for understanding and for affection are an important part of what makes you unique and wonderful.

These kinds of appetites are satisfied by:

• self-respect: You acknowledge that boredom, loneliness, frustration or anger is driving you to eat.
• determination: You decide to protect your body from self-abusive eating.
• prudence: You weigh alternative ways of stopping the physical urge.
• I had a client who kept a rubber band on her wrist because she realized boredom would compel her to stare into the refrigerator. Now, as soon as she starts to feel that urge, she snaps the rubber band and reminds herself, she's not really hungry.
• Another client kept a sign on her refrigerator that said "Why?", which stopped her mindless eating. 
• honesty: Being deeply honest with yourself means not using food to avoid what is unpleasant. It doesn't work. The fact is, it's like covering a mess on the floor with newspaper. The mess is still there.

The odd thing about this kind of appetite is that your body thinks you're hungry, but your intellect knows you are not. Our bodies are the result of our habits. If, over time, you have programmed your body to expect food when you are bored, lonely, frustrated or angry, then you will feel driven to overeat. That's why the simple rubber band works. It's a physical signal that you're okay. You can reprogram your body.

Tune-in to yourself and trust your intuition. Intuition is always self-protective. You can sense if you're making the dignified choice. Be honest and review the facts in your head. You're in charge of and responsible for you, your body and soul.  Self-respect, determination, prudence and dignity are all intuitive tools. Use them and take control.

Relax and Lose Weight

Time flies and habits happen and next thing you know, your pants are too tight. What does it mean? It means you're probably tired and working hard. It means you deserve to take 5 minutes today to relax. Yep, that's the intuitive solution to keep from gaining weight due to stress and exhaustion: RELAX.

When you get stressed emotionally, it tenses your body making it think you're in danger. The physical response is to hold on to fat cells so you have extra fuel to 'fight the danger.' That's one reason stress makes you put on pounds. Here's how to relax to take them off.

• Before you eat or go out to eat, go to a quiet place and sit or lie down for 5 minutes with your eyes closed. . This will calm your body.
• Put your fork or spoon down between bites This relaxes your urge to chew so fast.
• Before you get out of bed in the morning, vow - out loud - to notice what you're eating at every meal. Be sure you hear your voice. Be sure you mean it. This programs you to slow down. Do it every morning. In 2 weeks you'll discover changes.

Habits often come from frustration or exhaustion. Instead of grabbing a bag of cookies or chips when you're at that point, it will relax that urge to drink a glass of water and if possible, go for a simple walk around the block. A change of scenery  is surprisingly refreshing. Getting out of the house can reset your perspective.

Your body is a barometer for your spirit and your heart. You gain weight because these parts of you carry the burden when you are too tired, stressed or frustrated. Relaxing nourishes your heart and spirit and this relaxes your body. Then it has no reason to hold on to extra weight.

My book, Am I Really Hungry? is full of tips for knowing yourself better and for ways to relax and protect yourself in eating situations that push your buttons. It contains tips like creating an eating plan that responds to your lifestyle, and how to recognize different kinds of hunger and how to feed it.

When time flies and you lose track of taking care of your body, it feels yucky. Winter is flu season and avoiding that too, takes awareness. The more relaxed you are, the more aware you feel.

Remember, spring is around the corner and your body is going to feel the change of seasons. Be ready for spring by using winter to keep your body trim and relaxed. You'll be so glad you did.

Dealing with Frustration Around Food, Try Ice Cream!

Feeling deprived is not the same as feeling hungry. Give yourself a chance to notice if you're hungry before  you eat.

Intuitive eating means paying attention to your senses and ignoring emotions when you eat. If you're not hungry, you don't need to eat. But don't wait until you  feel starved, because that makes your body think you need to gorge or binge to survive.

Relate to genuine physical hunger when you do eat by noticing taste and smell. This is the only way to tune-in to healthy physical comfort.

Because you have been training to diet for years, it will take time to undo all of that 'training'. It takes calorie-burning effort to stop rebuking yourself for what you eat. Remember, you owe yourself some kindness because you are working hard to reconnect with your natural appetites.

Natural hunger is a gentle feeling. Trust that you can learn to recognize it.

Try this: Pretend you're very young and give yourself the pleasure of tasting flavor. Notice texture and smell what you eat. If you feel like having ice-cream, act like a kid who never tasted ice cream and lick it. Intuitive eating is fun. When possible eat with a friend or relative. Share enjoyment. The result of focusing on what you're enjoying is:

• You will eat less. 
• You will eat slower.
• You will recognize when you're full.

It's important to give yourself permission to smell and taste your food before you decide if you're hungry. 

• Smell food at mealtime and if you feel turned off, don't eat.
•  If it smells good, take a bite. 
• When you taste it, make it a rule to chew and savor the flavor. This will connect what you're tasting with your mind, and your stomach will respond. If you still do not feel hungry, you are not. But if you are hungry, it's important to enjoy food by really tasting it while you're eating.
•  When you enjoy your food, you burn more calories. 
• When you really taste your food you feel full sooner. So only eat what you feel like having, and stop eating when you feel comfortable, but not stuffed. 
• Feeling "filled up" is usually a signal of overeating. Feeling comfortable is the signal from your body that you're full.

Read a chapter called Create Your Plan in Am I Really Hungry, which is available on amazon or kindle. This chapter will help you catch yourself when you're slipping and protect you from destructive choices like binging. The book is full of tips and tricks to help you understand yourself and also free yourself from dieting, binging and over exercising.

You are already building a caring foundation for the rest of your life. This is the key to long-term success. Be kind to yourself. The only thing that matters around eating is what you're doing now. Yesterday is history.